2011 Family Pictures

Family Pictures 2011 - taken by Tracy Porter Photography. These were taken at Antelope Island in Utah.

35 Weeks

Wow - my blogging goals are shot! I can't believe that I've waited this long to update.

The pregnancy is going well so far. And by well I mean that the baby is doing great - I'm miserable :). I'm convinced after this last week that the end of pregnancy is your bodies way of mentally preparing you for child birth. The discomfort and exhaustion actually makes you want to shove a watermelon out of a place that was never supposed to be that size. Honestly, I'm completely freaked out about childbirth. I've always wanted to be a mom, I can't remember a time as a little girl that I didn't dream of being a mom. But the actual getting the baby here part freaks me out!

I've always told people that my two boys are perfect - adoption made them that way - they didn't give me any stretch marks, no painful labor, no up all nights or diapers and potty training. Now, all joking aside, I'm freaked out about taking care of a new baby. I'm a control freak and there is nothing about the next few weeks (or months for that matter) that I can really control or predict. But, I'm also so excited to have him here!!

We still don't have a name for the little pirate. I like Kameron Michael, Kevin really likes Travis Ryan or Ryan James and Maliek wants to name him Chandler. I guess we'll know when we see him. We have everything we need but a crib mattress and we'll be getting that this weekend. The nursery is set up, the bassinet Kevin surprised me with has perfect little bedding his mother made ready to go. My hospital bag is packed, the diaper bag is packed, his coming home outfit is ready. The car seat will be installed this week. All we need now is a baby. His movements are so strong now and Kevin can really see him moving around under my skin. Kevin thinks it's hilarious to poke my almost outie belly button because the baby kicks back every single time.

We've been blessed with the timing of Kevin's layoff and he will get to stay home with the baby the first few months. This has really taken a huge load off my mind about daycare and going back to work. I'm hoping to go back after 4 weeks, knowing Kevin is home will make that goal a little easier. The loss of his check has hurt but we knew it was coming and planned as best we could. Now baby and daddy can spend time together through at least the holidays. He should be back to work in January as long as everything goes according to plan. It's crazy to think that we will have a baby home for Christmas this year. We've tried for so long to have one I'd let myself give up on the thought of a baby's first Christmas. This is really going to be a year to remember!

Below is a slide show from 13 weeks to now of my baby bump. My Aunt Karen has insisted that I post pictures, thanks to her I have this photo log of my ever growing bump.

13 Weeks

Tomorrow I hit 13 weeks. I'm starting to show and can't believe how much my body is already changing. I still have a blood hounds nose and some nausea but am now feeling the effects of the ever increasing need to use the bathroom and weird cravings. I was able to hear the heartbeat last week and could have listened to it on that table for hours. It was magical to finally hear a heartbeat and know this little life is healthy. Now we are extremely anxious to find out if we are having a boy or a girl. We both are REALLY hoping for a little girl. I also can't wait to feel this little life move and jump around inside me.

Luckily I'm ahead of the game after 9 years of trying. I have quite a few things that I already wanted. I also have two bins full of clothing, bottles and other baby 'stuff'. We picked out a crib, armoire and dresser a couple weeks ago. Now we just need to wait for the wallpaper to be put up and we can start putting everything together.

It's been really cute to see Kevin's reactions to all of this. He's excited beyond belief. He is taking such good care of me and is always telling me to take care of his baby. We are going to tell Maliek Easter weekend. We are hoping he is excited, he has always talked about wanting a younger sibling in the house but we are afraid he may react differently once it's really going to happen. He was looking forward to it just being us for awhile with Dae off to college. He'll be a great big brother either way and I'm sure will be quite protective.

8 Weeks

I hit 8 weeks today! This is the farthest I've ever made it in a pregnancy. Kevin and I were able to see the heartbeat a little over a week ago, it was extremely exhilarating. When we first announced to everyone we were pregnant I thought I was so much farther along based on my cycle. I was really scared initially once we found out I was only a few weeks along. I was petrified that the world would know I was pregnant and I would then have to immediately tell them all I miscarried. But, on the last visit the doctor gave us great news saying that there is only a 3% chance of that now. I cannot even begin to describe the comfort this brings me. After 9 years, several miscarriages and a lot of tears it's hard to believe this is actually happening.

Kevin has been beyond adorable. He keeps reaching out for my stomach at night, he's all about helping pick stuff out and he just glows when he talks about a baby. He has been such a wonderful to our two boys I just know that he is going to be wonderful with a baby too. My official due date is October 5th, I'll likely ask my doctor to induce me early so it is easier to plan everything with work and leave my clients in order before disappearing for a few days. Right now the symptoms of the pregnancy are taking their toll. I'm really having a hard time keeping food down, I have ALL DAY sickness - not morning sickness. I'm always tired and spend the day yawning and yearning for a nap. But I do take comfort in what my doctor told me - these symptoms are a good sign that things are going well.

We are both very much hoping for a little girl, with the two boys already we'd both love the experience of a little princess. My doctor won't determine sex until at least 18 weeks (so much later than most doctors) I really can't wait to find out and am counting down the days.

All in all, things are looking up and I'm very hopeful for a smooth 2011 with the latter part of the year bringing us a new little bundle of joy.

Pregnant!

I can't even begin to describe my shock at seeing the little screen on the digital pregnancy test scream back at me 'pregnant'. I was honestly not expecting a positive result. I was taking the test at my husband's suggestion, but after 9 years of disappointment I really didn't think I'd get this result. I was a couple weeks away from going to the fertility specialist for more intense treatments. My doctor had told me that he couldn't do anymore for me that I needed to see the experts. But now... well I'm pregnant and without any type of fertility medicine.

As soon as saw the positive test I took a break and ran to get a few more - silly I know but I didn't want to run to the doctor only to have him say the test was wrong. After three more tests I was still pregnant. I somehow made it through the work day without bursting at the seams, received confirmation from the doctor that all was well. I had all the 'healthy' symptoms. I've had cramping but no bleeding, I guess this is a good sign, my body is responding to the pregnancy and my uterus is getting ready. Now I had to get plans ready to tell my husband. I'm TERRIBLE with secrets. I knew that if I didn't do something that night I would blurt it out and this wouldn't be as special an announcement as I had hoped. A scavenger hunt seemed like a fun idea and I had the guise of an early Valentine's day surprise to hide the real intent of the hunt. I recruited a good friend of mine to drive Kevin from spot to spot and help along the way if he needed it. I dropped off the clues at various places and then camped out at Brand Restaurant inside Monte Carlo. This was to be the final destination. I had a stuffed dog and card for Kevin that I purchased over 7 years ago that was finally able to come out of the dark bin it had been stored in. Kevin had found the dog a few weeks earlier when we were reorganizing items in the garage and I told him to remember that stuffed dog that when he saw it. I told him that he'd know there was a baby on the way. I was simply waiting for a viable pregnancy to give him the items. The managers at Brand were unbelievably helpful. I told them what the dog signified and they suggested bringing it out in a dessert bowl with the final course - ingenious and perfect!

Kevin finally arrived at the restaurant and we had a beautiful dinner which I hardly touched because I was so nervous. When it was time for dessert the managers came out and laid out the stuffed dog and I handed Kevin his card. He didn't realize what the significance was, he'd completely forgotten finding the dog, but when he read the card he kept asking me if it was 'for real'.

It's been a whirlwind weekend to say the least. We've announced the pregnancy to the world now and I have two doctor's appointments over the next two weeks. Hopefully Monday they get a firm due date with the better ultrasound. Right now they've guessed about 7 weeks. In the meantime I'm completely tempted to go buy all the pregnancy tests I can find just to see all those plus signs, lines and positives pop up!

Symptoms: Sensitive smell, exhaustion (I'm so tired all the time), very sore and tender breasts, constipation, getting car sick, a little morning sickness.

Lots of Catch up

Well it's been quite awhile since my last post so here it goes.....

On Sept 16th 2009 I underwent surgery for the lapband to help me lose weight. So far I've lost over 60 pounds :). I still have a lot of work to do but I'm very happy to be in a 14 and not shopping in plus size any more. Below are some before/after pics. The first one on the top far left was one week before my surgery - ewww. The top left is at my grandfather's funeral. I'd lost about 30 pounds at this point. The bottom photos are more recent.




Let's hope they just keep getting better:). I also switched positions within the company I've been working with the last three years. For those who didn't know I work for HS Brands. We are an international mystery shopping company..... Yes, my job rocks and YES I really get paid to shop. Though there is a lot more to it than you think. I was managing the HR side of our Nevada office and also state compliance. Now I'm the Client Support Manager for all of the Casino, Nightlife and Fine Dining accounts we have. I really like my new position and it's nice to have something new and face some new challenges.

Kevin is still working, what a HUGE blessing that is. In the last two years we've been in fear of a layoff and he's only been forced to take off one week. He has really proven himself as a welder and pipefitter and has earned the respect of the higher ups within the company he works for. He really is showing a talent for welding and has made some interesting projects including a flower stand for his brothers and our niece's grave, an 'Iron Man' that holds two beer cans - classic, and he even made me a heart shaped desk decoration for me on our anniversary. ();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiE91FPxnReYN0wHwYjWKBtrJHz6OE8V_GJAjpJPNP2uc3FsTbuYPyLX0KWd4iRUdjzlvIo5rd7KdQ6-SLGa9q5aNsZhKgDVkw14NMcVZcj_Eu6IFR0Rf2xiAu9yNYvQRroszAYNwBplxJ3/s1600/DSC_0148.jpg">
Maliek is growing like a WEED and is now taller than Kevin. He has really matured in the last year and it's getting harder and harder to find the little boy in him. He is still into dance and likes to perform for his friends. He is taking a greater interest in sports too and works on his basketball skills every chance he gets.


I will try to be more diligent in updating this blog.

More to come :)

Adoption

I've heard a lot of crazy things from people since we were blessed with our two boys. The one yesterday prompted me to compile this list. I figured some of you would get a kick out of these. And yes all of these actually happened - some people's kids :)

1. Their mother must be terrible!
Seriously! You'd dare say that to my face?.... ohhhh you mean their birth mother... seriously - you'd dare say that to my face?... NO she isn't terrible! She's had her problems yes but we all have problems. Remember she's the angel responsible for bringing these two wonderful children to me. She is definitely not a monster, a terrible person or any of the other things I've heard.

2. It must be so hard raising those kids, they are so old you can't mold them the way you want to.
What?!? The woman who said this actually said it right in front of Dae'Shawn, he was disgusted and so was I. Mold them they way I want to - how about embracing them for who they are? They are not dogs or robots their KIDS. Even twins are unique, you can't 'mold' any child the way you want too. GEEZ!

3. Don't you want kids of your own?
I have two kids of my own... we'd like a daughter but we've already got two boys of our own and their GREAT!

4. Is it hard to raise black kids and find ways to teach them about their African culture?
ummmm.... they are from Utah not Africa... how much education are you giving your child about his/her European roots??? This actually happened while we were in Utah - I should have told her we were headed to Hogle Zoo for Safari LOL

5. Those kids come with so much baggage.
This came from a woman of a child who had to be the spawn of Satan. Her daughter was one of THOSE kids who runs through the isles and has the high pitched squeal that causes tumors in your brain. I should have told her that I would take my boys any day over the crap shoot she took combining the genes of her husband and herself.

6. It's got to be tough never knowing if they'll hate you when they get older
What??? One's a teenager and the other is a pre-teen of course they hate us - every kid hates their parents at this age. Once they move out and need money they get over it quick LOL

7.I could never deal with black kids, too many hair issues.
I didn't know you needed a beauty license to be a mother - good thing god gave your daughter those highlights and acrylic nails otherwise what would YOU do?

8.That's why I could never adopt black kids, they are always in trouble
I had a co-worker say this to me when the school called me because Maliek was in trouble. She didn't have any children of her own and obviously had no idea that ALL kids get in trouble now and then. I was so blind to the amount of racism still left in this world until I adopted my angels. People are so narrow minded.

9. What do your boy's think about Obama?
Their 10 and 16, we try to educate them about politics but THEIR 10 AND 16 - ask them about Hannah Montana or Adrian Peterson and they could probably tell you. The fact that they are african-american doesn't mean they suddenly have an opinion about everything black. How does your child feel about Dick Cheney or Rush Limbaugh??

If you know anyone who's adopted please control yourself before you say something similar to any of the statements above. :)

Dae'Shawn's Surgery

Dae'Shawn had surgery on his foot Tuesday. They had to cut out a piece of bone, twist the joint to his big toe and then screw everything together. He was so nervous the day of surgery. He was shaking really bad and they finally gave him some valium which made him quite the comedian. He was VERY relaxed when I saw them wheel him away. The Dr told me that the nurse should be coming to get me in about an hour and a half. Needless to say when the Dr himself finally came out over 2 hours later I was freaking out a bit.

Turns out the surgery went well but Dae wasn't quite awake yet and they wanted me to wait to see him. I wish I would have been thinking straight and asked for pictures of the x-ray. He's got two screws criss crossing where they cut out the bone and will be on crutches for the next 8 weeks. The Dr was impressed with how easily the surgery went and how responsive the joint was after being so stiff for so many months. I was just relieved to hear it was over.

They finally let me back to see my baby and he was still in and out of it. The medicine has given him amnesia, a common side effect, so luckily he doesn't remember everything. He was pretty loopy and out of it. He kept saying strange things and asking weird questions. Residue from one of the EKG leads had left a circle on his chest. When he looked down and saw it he asked my how he got ring worm I told him what it was and a few minutes later he saw the circle again and freaked out asking how in the world he got ring worm. I finally got an alcohol pad and rubbed the circle off before he panicked again. He was quite clumsy but being Dae'Shawn was still convinced he didn't need any help. He kept getting mad at me and the nurse for trying to help even though he clearly couldn't do it on his own.

Once we got him home he continued to try and fight the sleepiness unti his body said "Enough" and he slept for quite a few hours. Once all the numbing and anestheia wore off in the middle of the night though he was miserable. We couldn't keep up with the pain and I ended up sleeping next to him for the second half of the night so I could double up the medicine and keep an eye on him. Yesterday was better and last night wasn't as bad as the first. The pain meds still give him a bit of amnesia but he is getting back to himself and remembering conversations a little better.

I'm so glad that my work let me take the time off to be with him. Not that I would ever wish him to have surgery again, he is really miserable, but it has been nice to take care of him. I missed out on so much with my boys. By the time they came to us they were grown and didn't want their owies kissed or booboos made better. Taking care of Dae'Shawn has given me a chance to feel like I got some of those times missed back.

I am completely exhausted though. I don't sleep well because I'm worried about him and if he is in pain or needs anything, etc, etc. He is always so tired but you can tell he's already sick of not being able to get around and it's only the first 2 days of 8 long weeks ahead of us. Hopefully he is ready to go to school next week and that will help with the boredom. As much as I'd love for him to take his time and rest my baby is going crazy stuck in the house sitting all day long.

Good news is that when he heals he should be even better than before. His toe will have full range of motion again and the Dr says it should improve his football skills. His 8 weeks is up just before spring break and I think he'll be playing football with his buddies 24/7 the entire week.

I'll update everyone more later, for now I'm going to try and take a nap while Dae'Shawn takes hs :).

I miss my best friend

Last night both Kevin and I just couldn't sleep. Around 2:00am we finally gave up trying to sleep and.... okay what happened next is not blog appropriate but afterward we sat on the couch and watched TV. When Kevin left for work at 4:45am I was so bummed and I realized how much I really miss him. Before we had kids we had more time for just us. Now it seems that with as busy as it is -I allow myself to put in way too many hours at work, the boys and day to day life - we just don't have any time for each other anymore. When we do have the time it seems money is WAY to tight that week, we can't find a sitter or something comes up last minute.

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't change my life for one without my kids - they and Kevin are my entire world - but there are day where I miss my best friend.

That is all :)

Time to Catch Up!

You may want to snuggle up with some coffee, hot chocolate, tea or some other comfort drink - this is going to be a long blog. :) I've been so busy that it's been awhile since I posted anything to update anyone on what's been happening in our little corner of the world.

Here it goes:)

Dae'Shawn's football team took first seed in their division. This is VERY impressive for a team who was not even slated to make a playoff game let alone win their division. They worked hard and did make it to the playoffs where they were beat in the second round. Dae'Shawn was feeling some pain in his toe but made me promise not to do anything until the season was over so that he wouldn't have to sit out (more about that later). We're so proud of all the hard work he's put in and how well he is doing in school. The last quarter he pulled a 3.6 GPA he's come so far from where he was a year ago - I know I'm repeating myself but.. we are REALLY so very PROUD of him.

Shortly after football was over Maliek went on Track break and headed to Kevin's parents home in Utah until Christmas. We missed him for his birthday but Grandma got some great pictures of her little man at his Birthday party. I can't believe how big he's getting. He's as tall as me now and wears the same shoes as Kevin already! Time has gone by so fast we can't believe he's already 11 years old. He just started Basketball and I keep forgetting the camera for his practices but he's really trying hard and doing a good job.

Since our weekends weren't all about Dae's games anymore, we miss that :(, we decided that we should take the time we have and head to the cabin for a weekend. Dae'Shawn brought his friend Chris, he'd never seen snow before in his life, and my cousin Josh came with us too. It was so much fun. We made a fire out side and watched the snow boil around the pit, the boys took the four wheelers out and we all hiked into Mammoth Cave in the middle of a blizzard. After we finished the hike Dae'Shawn still wanted to play in the snow so on the way back Josh told him if he ran the entire time up one of the HUGE hills it would forever be called DaeDae's Mountain. Never one to back down Dae'Shawn decided to give it a try. He hiked in the blizzard up the hill/mini mountain and made it to the top pretty quickly. It was so hard to see him and I was nervous but Kevin reassured me that he could still see movement... I still don't understand why boy's think it's so funny to scare the crap out of their mothers. Sadly, Josh is the only one with the pictures and I forgot to get them. The boy's also used the four wheeler and towed eachother up the steeper roads in the subdivision so they could snowboard down the roads. As usual Dae'Shawn's a natural and didn't fall. His buddy Chris did a really good job for never doing anything like that before and stayed up longer than I ever have. The dog's love the snow and Zeus had to have eaten at least 5 gallons. He kept trying to catch the snowballs we'd throw and get all confused when they would fall apart in his mouth. We don't know what it is but everytime he's in the snow he goes nuts, he LOVES it. Brownie, as usual, is just happy to be outside.

Kevin and I celebrated 7 years on December 10th. It feels so weird to say that because it really doesn't feel like it's been that long. We've been so blessed the past two years with the boys and being able to live close to my grandparents that I really couldn't ask for more. Kevin is such a strong man and works so hard to take care of us. He's an amazing Mr. Mom and amazes me everyday with his patience. Seeing him as a father has just made me fall that much more in love with him. I couldn't ask for a better best friend or partner. Dae was grounded on our anniversary so he joined us at dinner. We're hoping to really celebrate for Valentine's I guess :)





This year for Christmas we made the trek to Utah again. I didn't get off until 4:00pm on Christmas Eve and we hit a white out for most of the drive. A 5 1/2 hour drive turned into over 9 hours and we were so exhausted. I was so happy to see my little man though, Maliek had been with grandma and grandpa for almost a month and we just wanted to see him. He of course was content to stay forever if we'd let him LOL. We weren't able to see everyone but still had a great time visiting with those we did. We spent a night with my mom and everyone played Apples to Apples. The next day Kevin and my little brother Jake went snowboarding while the rest of us hung out with my mom and stepdad, Ray. I still don't know my stepdad that well and it was good to get to know him a little more and spend time with him. Maliek was hysterical while we played Apples to Apples, we weren't playing the junior version and the words were sometimes a little big for him. When it was his turn to draw a card he laid it down and said King Henry Vill, the card read King Henry VIII (King Henry the 8th). After we all rolled on the floor for about five minutes we continued on and it's been an ongoing joke since. He did pretty good on the words and finding comparisons even if he didn't completely understand. Christmas Day we opened gifts at Kevin's parents home. We got Dae'Shawn a subscription to Sports Illustrated and he was looking at the magazine while Maliek opened their shared gift. When Maliek realized it was an X-Box 360 he was ecstatic, Dae was still very much distracted by the Sports Illustrated. I had no idea it would be that easy for Dae, we still tease him that next year we'll save the money on a big gift and just renew his subscription for SI LOL.

After Christmas we had Dae's doctor appt for his toe/foot pain. This was actually just on Friday and our worst case scenario was realized. He needs surgery. It won't effect football as long as he there are no complications and he follows doctor's orders. He has a genetic defect that made the bones just before his big toe grow to fast. The left foot is worse than the right and will require surgey, we'll have to wait and see on the left. He won't be able to walk for 8 weeks but the Dr. thinks he'll be even better at sports when he's done. He'll actually have full range of motion and be able to get off the line much quicker. I'll post more about that as the time comes :)

Well that's about it... I hope you've enjoyed the updates! Happy New Year!!